


Saying Goodbye; Until it's Hello

by Bizarra



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s05e06 Timeless, F/M, Inspired by Photography
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: Missing scenes from "Timeless".  What if Chakotay also leaves himself a message
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Tessa Omond
Comments: 29
Kudos: 105





	Saying Goodbye; Until it's Hello

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a snowy photo of the Captain Janeway statue in Bloomington. 
> 
> Thanks to the lovely JAlexmac for the beta.

Inspired by this Photo of the Capt Janeway Memorial Statue  
  
Photographer Unknown.  
From Capt. Janeway Statue FB page.

Set during ‘Timeless’

The gloom of the day matched the ache in his heart, as he stepped closer to the bronze effigy of the woman he last saw fifteen years ago. The likeness of the statue was astounding. Phoebe Janeway’s group of sculptors and metal workers had done Kathryn justice. This was only the second time Chakotay had seen the memorial erected in his Captain’s honor in her hometown of Bloomington, Indiana. The day they had dedicated it, and this day.

To come any other time would have been too painful. 

Chakotay brushed the accumulating snow from her shoulders and crossed arms. With his thumb, he wiped away water droplets from the cheek and temple of the cold bronze face of the woman he could never get past loving. As much as he tried, bless the patience of Tessa Omand. But Kathryn Janeway was entrenched in his heart so deeply that to remove her would cease the organ’s beating instantly. 

He wrapped his hand around the back of the metal hair and leaned his forehead against the lifeless stillness of the statue’s brow. “Harry and I are going to leave tomorrow to do something incredibly stupid. If it works, I’ll be back on Voyager again and you’ll be alive and well. If it doesn’t work, I’ll join you in the spirit world.” He clenched his eyes against tears that fell on the chest of the memorial. “Either way, in the next few days we’ll be together and I promise you, Kathryn, I will never leave you again.”

He stood in silent grief for several moments before pressing a kiss against his fingers, then laying them upon the frozen upturned smile. “If time is reset, Kathryn, I will tell you how I feel and I won’t let you back away from the feelings I know you have. I won’t waste any more of our time together.” He stood there for a moment longer before straightening. With a whispered, “I love you,” Chakotay turned and walked to the woman who was patiently awaiting him. A woman who deserved so much more than what he could give.

He paused as he drew even with Tessa. “You don’t have to go with us. This isn’t your fight.”

With eyes not leaving the monument, the woman who had been in love with Chakotay for the last several years reached to grab his arm. “I’ll go to see that you get back to her.”

“Tess…” Chakotay breathed.

She broke her gaze from the statue and looked at him. “I love you enough.” She gave his bicep a last squeeze and turned to walk to their vehicle.

—

Kathryn bade whoever had just chimed to enter. It surprised her to see Harry Kim standing awkwardly at her doorstep. “Harry?” She waved him in.

Kim stepped in just enough to trip the sensors to close the doors. “Um, Captain. I don’t know if you watched past the message to me, but there’s another one. Well, two. The first of them was so fast, I didn’t realize what I was seeing until the second one started.” He reached to hand back the tricorder. “I stopped it then.” The young man shifted his stance and lowered his head briefly before taking a deep breath. He continued, clearly emboldened by the breathing. “I think you should watch it with Commander Chakotay.” With that said, he nodded and left.

Kathryn quirked her brows and gave the tricorder a pat. Everything in her said to see it alone. But a gut feeling told her to wait. She lay the device down on her desk, then ordered a coffee from her replicator. She drank the fortification as she stared at the small scanner as if it were a snake out to bite her. In the end, curiosity won. “Computer, what is the location of Commander Chakotay?”

 _Commander Chakotay is in his quarters,_ came the passive reply.

“Is he alone and awake?”

_Affirmative_

Kathryn gave the tricorder another glare, then swiped it from the table and left her quarters before allowing herself to think twice.

Chakotay’s doors slid open as quickly as she’d chimed. “Captain. Is everything okay?” He stood from his couch and laid a book onto his coffee table.

She stepped inside and nodded. “I think so, yes.” She stepped to the terminal on the desk. “When I was going over the data from the mission today, I found a message from a future Harry to our Harry.” She explained as she extended her arm to hand the tricorder to the man who’d just approached her. “He just gave this back to me and said there’s another two messages on here that you and I should watch together.”

Chakotay gently lay his hand over the hand containing the device. “Kathryn,” he murmured. “If Harry’s message was from him, this message is likely from me.” He gave her hand a squeeze. A heavy silence settled as a possible meaning arose. They hadn’t spoken at all about repercussions of the previous evening they’d spent in each other’s arms. He was afraid the message would include a major implication. “Are you sure you want to hear this? I can listen to it…”

She pulled the terminal close, making sure the monitor faced in their direction. “We have to face it.” She whispered.

Chakotay nodded and sat down, pulling her into the seat next to him. He activated the data transfer from the tricorder and then set the message to play. The message to Harry finished as the young man had cued it so they wouldn’t have to search for the new missives.

Just a couple seconds later, a photograph popped onto the screen. It was of an older Chakotay leaning his forehead against the brow of a bronzed statue of Kathryn. A black-haired woman quickly replaced the image. _He never stopped loving you. Waste no more time._

Kathryn hit the pause button and stood. She made her way to the viewports and stood facing the warping star trails, hands on her hips.

“Kathryn?” Concern was plain in his voice.

Her eyes clenched shut against tears, but she didn’t face him. “Play the next one.” Her whisper was pained, as if she were afraid of what was coming. 

“Are you sure?” The question was plaintive.

“Just do it.” She snapped, then realized her tone. “I’m sorry. Go ahead and play it.”

Silence. Then Chakotay’s voice — albeit sounding older and exhausted — rang out. _I don’t know what would be worse. Loving Kathryn, for those brief moments of unbridled bliss we had the night before and then losing her the very next day; when Harry and I were the sole survivors of that flight of the damned. Or having those blissful moments and then stupidly going back to pretending we’re nothing more than friends._

As the heavy emotions in the older man’s voice washed over her, she turned and walked forward. Drawn by the pain evident in his voice. _Don’t. I’m telling you this, Chakotay. Don’t ever go back. I’m doing this, against everything Kathryn believed in, because living this fifteen years without her was sheer torture. I’d rather Starfleet had arrested me the moment we returned and sent me back to the Cardassians. Thanks to Harry and Tessa — a… a friend of mine — we have a way to reach through time and save Voyager. Save her._ The older man cracked a slight smile, _I’m sure she’d probably raise hell at the very idea of messing with time. But I’ll be glad to dispense the analgesic for her headache if it means she’s alive for me to do so. I need to go, Harry’s just arrived. Tell her you love her. Never lose her again._ The older man held up his crossed fingers. _God I hope this works._

The screen went black and all Kathryn could do was stand behind the younger man and squeeze his shoulders. She lay her forehead against his crown, then slowly wrapped her arms around his collarbone. “I guess we’ve been told.” She said, attempting to add levity. 

“I’m sorry.” Chakotay said quietly. “He shouldn’t — I shouldn’t have said that.” His body was rigid and tense where she touched him.

She pressed a quick kiss atop his head and moved around him. She turned the screen slightly and reset it back to the timestamp of the middle message. The one with the photo. She paused the playback on that image. Resetting the screen so it was in his line of sight, she leaned her hip against the desk. “I don’t know that it would have been any easier for me.” She told him softly. She reached her hand out, hoping he’d take it. A smile warmed her face as he slid his palm against hers. 

“I’ve been hiding behind protocol.” She admitted. “My genuine fear has always been of you.” At his look of confusion, she gave a slight grin and a deep sigh. “You terrify me.”

“Why do I scare you?”

She squeezed his hand, “because I feel… so much for you. I’m afraid if I give in, I’ll lose myself and forget that I have a job to do.”

“Kathryn, I’ve been lost in you for five years and I don’t think my work has suffered.” He gave their joined hands a slight tug and pulled her across his lap. “We had sex last night. Glorious, bed shaking, bone rattling; they probably heard us in the Mess Hall sex last night.” She smiled at his rather accurate description. “And we got up this morning and went to work. I think we’ll be fine.”

“You obliterated the temporal prime directive to come back and save my life.” She nuzzled his neck as she husked, “how does that classify as ‘fine’.”

“I don’t recall seeing the time police show up.” He turned his face into hers and pressed light kisses along her cheekbone and nose. He used a finger to lift her chin before capturing her lips in a deep, consuming kiss. Chakotay pulled back, dropped a small kiss on the tip of her nose and grinned like a cheshire cat. “I’d call that ‘all in a day’s work’.”

She chuckled, even as his countenance turned serious. “Kathryn, I don’t think I can go back to the way things were.”

“Can we really do this and get the crew home?” She traced the outlines of his tattoo as she spoke.

“I think we can.” He draped his arms loosely around her hip as she still sat across his lap. “I’m willing to give it a try.”

Kathryn traced his lips with her finger. “You might be a little biased.” 

He snickered, then leaned his head to hers. “I love you, in case there’s any doubt.”

Kathryn turned and gestured to the screen. “You reached back through fifteen years for me. I don’t think there’s any doubt.” She cupped his cheek. “I love you, too.” She kissed him again, this time the kiss was deliberate and wanting. She broke away, whispering against his lips, “shall we shake your bed this time?”

He scooted out of the chair with her in his arms. He shifted her to straddle his hips as he rose. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Computer, engage privacy lock.” He requested.

“Computer, route all command level calls short of a red alert to Commander Tuvok until 0800.” She ordered.

 _Affirmative_ The computer replied.


End file.
